The last couple of days has been such a whirlwind of emotions - from the crankiness of jet lag, to being distraught for these orphans. My prayer the past couple of days has been that the Lord would help me discern these feelings and help me understand what it is that he would have me learn from it. He has taught me a lot but there are still so many questions running through my head.
Spending time playing with these kids the last couple of days has shown me the true beauty of who they are. It doesn't matter what they look like or what special need it is that they have, these are Gods children and he values them just as much as you or me. I can't help but fall in love with them as I get to know each of them more. Some have huge obstacles they will have to overcome and some will never get the chance to know life beyond MBHOH. Even though there is so much hurt, pain, and suffering, the amount of joy these kids possess wipes all of that out.
A quick story about a little baby I was playing with today. In one of the rooms there is a child who has a severe medical condition which makes it hard for him to breathe and move. As I was playing with some of the other kids in his room I heard him fussing, so I scooted over and gave him some attention. Even though there was several other toddlers who wanted my attention I stayed by this little boy and allowed him to hold my finger as I played with the other kids. Each time I would take my finger away from him he began to cry. It really took me back how just holding a finger could make such a big difference in this little boys comfort. He just needed to know that someone was there.
Each time I enter a room I see these beautiful kids and each time I think about the problems they are facing, but those thoughts are soon pushed to the back of my mind as I see the smiles spread across their faces. I don't think I could even count how many smiles I see in one day here at Maria's. It just blows me away that in the midst of all of this, these kids are more joyful than I am.
My heart is so full! There is no way I will ever be able to put into words what this experience with these kids is like, even after I am back home talking to you guys face to face. This is an aspect of Gods love that I don't think many of us have ever experienced.
Later in the day, we shared among our team some hard moments about our day, there wasn't a dry eye in the house after it was over. These kids have touched our lives in such a deep way. It has humbled me to a point I have never been at before.
Here's a quick thought that helped get me through the last couple of days: The kids that breathe their last here at Maria's were blessed by the ministry that goes on here, the kids I have met who will only live for a little while longer have blessed me. However - this isn't the end - I get to see these kids again. One day on the other side of eternity I will praise our heavenly father along side them, but the cool thing about that is that they will have perfect heavenly bodies. How incredible.
We are learning during our training times how God has called us to care for orphans, and also how we can do that now. My heart for this country and for these kids grows every second. I praise God that he is in control and that he is sovereign.
I hope this post makes some sense. There are so many thoughts swimming around in my head right now. I am trying to sort through them myself. But I do want to leave you with this.
Today I was reading an excerpt from Mary Beth Chapman's book, "Choosing to SEE." It is the book about their daughter Maria who was killed in an accident. The same Maria that this orphanage was named after.The book gives a glimpse into the life of Maria and what a blessing she was to everyone she came in contact with. Even though they didn't understand why God would take her from them, they knew that God was still faithful. The didn't know it then, but through that circumstance this place is able to exist. Because of the inspiration that Maria - a child - gave them, everyday orphans experience God's love. Who is it that God is trying to bless you through? How is God leading you to SEE the bigger picture?
Thanks for all your support and prayers!
Kyle
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